Two keys to polished prose
Strong writers make sentences that are balanced and efficient. Two skills make this possible:
- Parallel structure: matching grammatical forms so ideas line up clearly.
- Concision: removing unnecessary words so every word earns its place.
Both improve clarity, rhythm and persuasiveness.
Part 1: Parallel structure
Parallel structure (parallelism) means using the same grammatical form for similar elements: words, phrases or clauses.
In a series
✗ She likes hiking, to swim and riding bikes.
✓ She likes hiking, swimming and biking.
✓ She likes to hike, to swim and to bike.
✗ The coach told us to stretch, that we should hydrate and get enough sleep.
✓ The coach told us to stretch, to hydrate and to sleep enough.
With coordinating conjunctions
Items joined by and, but, or should match.
✗ The job requires creativity and being organized.
✓ The job requires creativity and organization.
With correlative conjunctions
Correlative conjunctions come in pairs: either…or, neither…nor, not only…but also, both…and, whether…or. The elements following each part must be parallel.
✗ She is not only talented but also works hard.
✓ She is not only talented but also hardworking.
✓ She not only sings well but also works hard.
In comparisons
✗ Reading a book is better than to watch the movie.
✓ Reading a book is better than watching the movie.
In lists and headings
Bulleted lists and headings should be parallel:
✗ Goals: Improve grades / Making new friends / To join a club
✓ Goals: Improve grades / Make new friends / Join a club
Faulty parallelism
Faulty parallelism is the error of mixing forms. Test by isolating each item with the sentence’s shared start:
The plan aims to reduce costs, improving safety and more efficiency.
– aims to reduce costs ✓
– aims to improving safety ✗
– aims to more efficiency ✗
Fix: The plan aims to reduce costs, improve safety and increase efficiency.
The power of parallelism
Parallelism creates rhythm and emphasis, which makes it a favourite device in speeches:
- “Government of the people, by the people, for the people.” (Abraham Lincoln)
- “I came, I saw, I conquered.” (attributed to Julius Caesar)
Part 2: Concision
Concision means saying what you mean in as few words as necessary, without losing meaning or voice. Concise writing respects the reader’s time and makes arguments sharper.
1. Cut redundancy
Redundancy repeats an idea unnecessarily.
| Redundant | Concise |
|---|---|
| past history | history |
| end result | result |
| free gift | gift |
| each and every | each |
| completely finished | finished |
| advance planning | planning |
| repeat again | repeat |
| true facts | facts |
2. Replace wordy phrases
| Wordy | Concise |
|---|---|
| due to the fact that | because |
| in order to | to |
| at this point in time | now |
| in the event that | if |
| has the ability to | can |
| in spite of the fact that | although |
| for the purpose of | to, for |
| a large number of | many |
3. Avoid nominalizations
A nominalization turns an action into a noun, adding words and hiding who acts.
✗ The committee made a decision to conduct an investigation.
✓ The committee decided to investigate.
4. Limit expletive constructions
An expletive construction (There is/are, It is) delays the real subject.
✗ There are many students who volunteer.
✓ Many students volunteer.
✗ It is important to note that the results varied.
✓ The results varied.
5. Prefer active voice (usually)
✗ The decision was made by the council.
✓ The council made the decision.
6. Cut empty intensifiers and hedges
Very, really, quite, basically, actually, kind of, sort of often add little.
✗ The results were really very surprising.
✓ The results were astonishing.
7. Eliminate throat-clearing
✗ In this essay, I am going to discuss the ways in which…
✓ Begin directly with your point.
Concision is not just shortness
Do not cut details that add meaning, evidence or voice. The goal is no wasted words, not the fewest possible words.
Worked example
Original (41 words): In my opinion, I think that it is really important for schools to make a decision to provide students with the opportunity to learn about financial literacy, budgeting skills and how to manage money due to the fact that it helps.
Revised (19 words): Schools should teach financial literacy, including budgeting and money management, because these skills help students make responsible decisions.
Fixes: removed redundancy (In my opinion, I think), nominalization (make a decision), wordy phrases (due to the fact that), intensifier (really), and repaired parallelism (financial literacy, budgeting, money management).
Try it yourself
- Fix the parallelism: The volunteers cleaned the park, were planting trees and painted benches.
- Fix: She wants either to study medicine or law.
- Make concise: At this point in time, there are a large number of people who have the ability to work from home.
- Undo the nominalization: The teacher gave an explanation of the assignment.
Answers: 1. The volunteers cleaned the park, planted trees and painted benches. 2. She wants to study either medicine or law. 3. Many people can now work from home. 4. The teacher explained the assignment.
Study tip
Set a word-cutting goal when revising: try to remove 10 percent of your draft’s words without losing any ideas. You will be surprised how much stronger it reads.
Quick recap
- Parallel structure matches grammatical forms in series, pairs and comparisons.
- Correlative conjunctions require parallel elements after each part.
- Concision eliminates redundancy, wordy phrases, nominalizations and expletives.
- Prefer active voice and strong verbs.
- Cut wasted words, not meaningful detail.